Can I Drive?
by babygummybear
Summary: A short Rockman fanfiction, of Forte deciding to take driving lessons from Dr. Wily. What do you think their only mode of transportation is? That's right, the skull ship! An entertaining short! Slight Fathery-sonny feel. R&R ! Swearing involved
1. Can I Drive?

Hello! This is my first time posting a fanfiction online :] I'm happy, it's quite a milestone for me, since I keep a lot of my art private that I should be sharing. I love writing short stories, and I love Rockman, so the two go together for me!

Since it's my first time, I'd like reviews to see where I stand. Say anything you want, really, but I'm not looking so much into things about like, spelling mistakes, but how well my writing flows. This isn't betaed, so grammatical mistakes should not come as a surprise to readers (though I don't think there are any).

I own nothing Rockman related…

"Forte," Dr. Wily called, opening the steering compartment in the skull ship "come with me to get groceries!"

"Can I drive?"

Wily looked at the ebony 'bot in surprise. "What?"

"Can I drive?" Forte repeated.

"You want to drive?"

"I want you to teach me how to drive the skull ship." Forte said, climbing into to driver's side of the ship, grabbing the steering wheel. Face frowning in annoyance, he rolled his eyes, grabbing the handle beneath the seat and bringing the seat a tad farther away from the windshield.

Wily grabbed his shoulder plate, pulling him a little lower to his level on the ground. "You can't drive, you don't have a license."

Forte arched a brow. "And since when did _you_ become concerned with the law?"

"Ehh, you're right." Wily said, letting Forte go. Forte grinned like an insane mechanical child, grasping the wheel once more.

Wily walked around the ship to the passenger side, climbing in. "How much do you know about flying the skull ship?" Wily inquired.

"Enough," Forte said, buckling his seatbelt.

Wily decided to give him a hard one. "If you're driving at 60 miles an hour and you suddenly have to slam the breaks, how many feet does it take to completely stop the ship?"

"One," Forte replied, adjusting the rear view mirror.

Taken aback, Wily yelled, "One?"

"Yeah," Taking a hint from Wily's confused look, Forte explained. "One, doc. You always use just your right foot on the break, never the left." Forte looked down at the controls, leaving the matter alone. "Now, to open the garage…"

"Forte it's not down there, it's—"

"Don't tell me!" Forte ordered. "Ah," he said contently, finding a button that for some reason seemed more significant that the others to him, "this must be it!" Forte reached for it.

"Wait Forte, don't!" Wily panicked.

As Forte's finger made contact with the button, a large flash blinded them both as a laser shot out from the ship, blasting a huge hole in the garage.

Recovering from momentary blindness, Forte squinted as the open wall became apparent before him. "Hey, I did it!" Forte exclaimed, "This is going well." He pressed his foot down on the gas, and was instantly thrown forward as the ship reversed into the wall behind them.

Forte went wide eyed as he realized his mistake, slowly looking over to Wily, hoping the impact killed him. It didn't.

"Eh, heh," Forte smiled awkwardly, "guess I jinxed it."

"F-Forte you piece of shit!" Wily yelled righting himself up onto the seat he fell off of. "Now we need supplies to fix that wall!"

"Well don't worry, I'll take us there!" Forte reassured, giving him a thumbs up.

"Do you know the way to Mike's Hardware from here?" Wily asked, quickly glancing over the damage done to the wall from the impact.

"Yes."

Doubtful, Wily glared.

"Well, maybe…"

A raised eyebrow.

"… No." Forte admitted.

"We'll use the GPS on the windshield," Wily ordered, pointing to the device. He turned on the GPS, and then began to type in the destination. After a moment, a map was displayed on the small screen with directions.

"Drive forward, _Bastard_." The woman's voice on the GPS announced.

Wily was startled at the profanity. "Who programmed that name into the GPS?" Suspiciously, Wily turned to Forte with the stink eye.

"Yeah right, like _I_ know how to program that thing." Forte said, averting eye contact.

"Drive forward, _Bastard_." The woman's voice repeated.

"Okay, go… not reversed" Forte paused as he tried to figure out how to change the ship from reverse to, in Forte-speak, "not-reverse".

Fed up with waiting for the few gears in Forte's head to start moving, Wily set the ship for him so it wouldn't go "not not-reverse".

"Can I go forward now?" Forte asked

"Yes you numbskull." Wily said.

"Well alright then!' Forte yelled, slamming his foot on the gas. As the ship lurched forward, Forte and Wily were both pulled back onto their seats. "I'M DRIVING!" Forte screamed gleefully, dodging all of the trees not a moment too soon.

"Forte! Slow the fuck down!" Wily yelled, trying to be heard over the roaring engine.

"No!" The ebony 'bot sassed. "The nice lady on the GPS didn't tell me to!"

"I'm starting to think this wasn't such a great plan." Wily said, tightening his firm grasp on both his arm rests.

_Starting?_ Forte thought. "Well when you die, shouldn't _someone_ be able to fly the skull ship?" Forte asked, dodging another tree.

"I intend to live forever, Forte." Wily pointed out. "So far, so good."

Forte chuckled. "Good is a relative term, I suppose."

Wily sighed, "At least you avoided the mailbox."

"Oh yeah! That reminds me," Forte exclaimed, reaching behind his seat. "I broke the mailbox last week," he said, handing a burnt, dented, tin can to Wily. "But thanks anyways!"

Did you like it? I get really "punny" later on. It's a very humorous little short story. I'll upload the next chapter regardless of how many reviews I get, but I'd still like to here from who's reading this :]

xoxo


	2. Got Gas?

YAY! Chapter 2! Thanks to everyone who read it, and special thanks to who reviewed :] I was happy reading every one of them!

This chapter's a little longer than I thought it'd be, since I couldn't find any good cliff hangers, but that just means more humor for your buck.

R&R is always appreciated. I don't own Rockman stuff, just the story line.

Chapter 2…

After a few seconds of flying, Forte managed to steer the ship onto a busy road, cars swerving to get out from underneath the massive ship.

"You know, Wily," Forte yelled over the honks to the good doctor pressed against his seat, "it's a good thing we're not on the good side of the law, or else I'd be concerned right now, considering how fast we're going."

"Forte you're going to use up all of the gas at this speed!" Wily screamed.

"Okay, let's fill up here!" Forte made a sudden swerve into a gas station, slamming the brakes as he stopped before the gas station store window to speak to the manager.

"See, one foot," Forte smiled to Wily, before turning to the manager, who was a stout man in his late 30s. "Hi! We need a fill up."

Horrified by the devilish robot and his insanely designed mode of transportation, the manager decided serving this customer was a bad choice.

"Uh, sorry, n-no vacancies at the pumps"

Forte's jaw dropped. "Wily!" he yelled, "Did you hear that! This guy just called us vacancies!" he turned back to the manager, "How dare you insult us!"

"Moron…" Wily mumbled.

Forte looked down at the controls. "Where's that damned garage opener?" Finding the "garage opener", Forte readied his palm in mid air, "You'll pay!" and slammed his hand down, releasing the laser once more.

When the light subsided, all that was left was a massacred building merely four feet high, and a partial corpse on the ground.

"You just vaporized that man's whole left side."

"Hm," Forte responded, "I guess he's alright now, huh?" Forte couldn't help but smile.

(Boy was he PUNny.)

"Oh my god, Forte shut up." Wily rubbed his temples.

Forte scoffed, "Oh yeah, you're just too much of a pansy to do something about being insulted." Forte raised his voice, "You _are_ a vacancy!"

"Huhh, am I?" Wily asked. "I think your lingual program is malfunctioning… but, you've been nothing by stupid this whole trip. You may just be retarded."

A little name calling later (and calling each other names which weren't actual profanity, simply words taken out of context) Forte drove… or crashed the ship into one of the gas pumps, the fluid starting to gush out of the remains of the pump like a geyser. As if he had just pumped gas the right way, Forte got out, opened the gas port in the ship, and waited for the tank to fill with raining gasoline.

Once the tank filled up, Forte closed the port, shook himself to remove the gas that had splattered him, and climbed back into the ship. Once back into the driver's seat, Forte found Wily with his head in his hand, fingers rubbing his temples, regretting letting the crazy war machine drive after the three things he had already exploded.

"Hey! Senile!" Forte yelled, "Don't sleep now, the tank is full, we can go to the hardware store!"

Forte reached over to the GPS and turned it back on, the screen showing the directions again. It took but a moment for the first direction to be announced.

"Turn around, _Bastard_." The woman's voice from the GPS said.

A little confused at this direction, Forte decided to comply to avoid getting yelled at by Wily again. He unbuckled his seat belt, climbed to his knees in the driver seat, and obediently turned and gazed over the head rest behind him.

"Child." Wily sweetly called to the 'bot, finally lifting his head up.

"What?"

Wily leaned towards him, "She means turn the _ship_ around!" he yelled, slapping Forte in the back of the head.

Rubbing his head, Forte yelled back, "She said 'Bastard'! I assumed she was referring to me!" He emphasized his point by slapping Wily back.

"Yes you are the only one who would instantly respond to 'Bastard'."

"Hrrr, let's just go to Mike's Hardware." Forte sat back in the driver's seat and grasped the wheel.

"Turn around, _Bastard_." The GPS said again.

Forte figured he should get out of the gas station before turning around. Since Forte still didn't know how to set the ship to reverse, he decided on making the tight U-turn right where he was. That's a big mistake when flying a massive, thousand ton ship. As he maneuvered the ship to make a sharp turn, he hit all of the gas pumps, causing them all to spout gasoline as well. Forte wouldn't have known though, since the force of the turn launched Dr. Wily out of his seat, causing him to flip, and smack into the windshield, inches away from Forte and obscuring his view.

"My God you're ugly, aren't you?" Forte blatantly commented.

"Ugh, call a doctor; I think you busted my spine!" Wily yelled, over exaggeratedly, as he slid off of the windshield.

"No I think you want a plastic surgeon, not a doctor." Forte grabbed Wily by his collar, tossing him back to his seat. He landed upside down, like anyone cared. "While you're chilling there, you should write down the shit you want from the hardware store, since you seem to be a little vague on common thoughts, like sitting correctly in a seat."

Righting himself, Wily found a pen and a notepad in the cubby of the ship, and began to jot down some of the items he needed.

Forte glanced at what Wily was doing and chuckled. "You're gunna need a _smiiiiiiiidge_ more paper than that, Doc."

…..

So that's chapter 2. I think this story might be a lot longer than I suspected. But that's fine, since I get to come up with everything lol.

Do you get the jokes? I'm not underestimating the intelligence of the readers, so I assume that they were good ones to y'all? Tell me what you think! & feel free to contribute little scenarios you imagine for this story & I can try to fit them into this storyline, since the plot's all sketched out, it's just the funny that needs to be put in.

xoxo


	3. We're Here!

Hi readers! Sorry, I know this is a short chapter, but it's a parking lot. What happens in a parking lot? Rape? Burglary? Murder? Big deal. Haha, I know, a lot, especially since this is a war machine and a mad scientist. But it's not the most important part of the short.

But that doesn't mean that it'll be any less funny since, hey, two psychos are driving a massive ship!

Thank you for the reviews! I really appreciate them! And I'm not gunna whore myself for them, so I appreciate it that you're reviewing out of your own desire.

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"You have arrived, _Bastard_."

Forte felt a flutter of pride well up in him. "My first time driving and no one got hurt!"

"Yes, retard, if you don't count that guy at the gas station, and the other people at the pumps you vaporized." Wily said exhausted from trying to yell some sense into the insane robot during their driving lesson.

"Right," Forte responded, "no one that mattered got hurt."

"And don't forget that you smashed _me_ into the windshield!"

"Umm, right," Forte repeated, "no one that mattered got hurt."

Forte had managed to miraculously fly the ship into the parking lot of Mike's Hardware. However, the huge ship didn't really fit into the parking spaces. This caused a bit of confusion.

"Do I… do I park the ship?" Forte asked to Wily.

"Well," Dr. Wily said, "we're not going to fly in the ship forever. I think I'd prefer you'd park."

"Um… okay." Forte flew the ship around the lot, looking for a spot to park. "Hmmm, I'd assume you want me to park up close to the store front." He said, nearing the main entrance.

"Sure, that sounds reasonable."

Forte cruised by slowly, carefully examining the rows of cars.

"Huh…" Forte mumbled. "There aren't any vacancies up front."

Wily's eyes widened. He turned to Forte, "What is _wrong with you_?"

"What?" Forte scoffed. "You want me to park on the other cars? Well fine!" Forte flew the ship over to the first row of cars. Once he was satisfied with his position above several of them, he turned off the engine, and the ship came crashing down, destroying seven cars.

"Well!" Forte screamed, half angry, half excited, "We're here!"

Dr. Wily huffed, picked up the extended grocery list, and wrote down "car polish".

"W-what the hell is that?" Forte asked, eyeing the list.

"The extended grocery list" Wily replied, "thanks to you."

"Doc… that's a 30-page essay."

"Yeah, it's the grocery list."

"Oh golly…" Forte murmured, grabbing the list. He scanned through the pages like a flip book, his robotic way of having his mind memorize every word. Then… he paused.

"Well…" Wily said, "Go get everything."

"I swear…" Forte finally said, "Part of the requirements of being a doctor must be to have illegible hand writing. I didn't get any of that!" Forte complained, slowly going through every page, trying to make sense of the scribbles.

He squinted at the first one…

"Forty-cent fight boobs?" he sounded out, pointing to it. "And then you drew a picture of sideways boobs."

Wily grabbed the list from Forte and looked at what he was reading.

"Fluorescent light bulbs!" Wily corrected, and then looked back at the list. "And that's an eight; 'fluorescent light bulbs – 8'!"

"Oh, just gimme that." Forte grabbed the list from Wily and unbuckled his seatbelt. "I'll go get all this shit." He hopped out of the skull ship and climbed down from the pummeled cars beneath him, then said in a deep voice, "I'll be back." Then he made his way into Mike's Hardware.

Forte neared the entrance, and then turned back around to Wily, who was still sitting in the skull ship. "Hey, why do we need cat pellets?"

Wily reached out of the skull ship and picked off a broken rear view mirror from one of the crushed cars beneath him. "CAR POLISH!" he screamed, and threw the mirror at Forte.

The mirror bounced off of Forte's head, making a _clang!_ when it hit the metal of his helmet. Forte wasn't phased. "Oh, ouch Wily, great arm you got there." He sneered, waving goodbye with one finger.

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Yeah I know it was a tad shorter than the other chapters, but if I connected it with the next chapter, it'd be insanely long, and it'd probably exhaust you. So just wait for the next chapter in a few days, kay?


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